11 Comments

The timing of this piece is eerie. I am actively considering going into consulting, and it is very anxiety provoking: will I be able to generate enough business? And even if I make some money, will that ever come close to what companies would pay? Moreover, would I enjoy the work?

Thank you for writing this!

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Also, safety is an illusion. We all heard about the waves of layoffs, so the safe environments aren’t as safe as they seem.

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Do safety and freedom really are two different desks (modes)?

There are many cases safety and freedom go hand in hand, like how team which has psychological safety can better express idea & freely discuss. or how (as you have written before) that safe & small code change encourage frequent & free application deployment.

Going back to financial/job safety topic, isn't having enough financial safety (enough saving, reduced living expense) is an important prerequisite for entrepreneurial initiative?

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Clever. And since I overthink things, it leads me to wonder what holds in place the pattern that makes a thousand people choose safety. It’s more than just anxiety-avoidance, isn’t it?

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I think people become numb to the lost parts of their souls.

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i don’t think we all experience it the same way. For some the safety is a comfort that feels worth the price or for others it might feel like a prison.

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This one hit me hard. I'm in my fourties now, spent the last 15 years building and working on a company I cofounded back then and from which I decided to walk away last year with practically zero compensation. I never in my life worked in an classical "employment" role. Since I left "my" company I'm an independent software architect consulting clients. And I struggle literally daily, the anxiety sometimes feels almost unbearable. The urge to leave everything behind and flee into the "save haven" of permanent employment is sometimes very strong. On the other hand, I know, that this would cost me a piece of my soul. So, I keep pushing, embracing the anxiety and uncertainty. But free.

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author

🤗

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Nov 8Liked by Kent Beck

Hear! Hear!

I am currently staying (in my RV) at a friend's (2nd house in upstate NY).

Years ago, as we choose separate paths, we were both wishing that we could both have his security and my freedom, and he observed

> You can either have:

> the illusion of SECURITY

> or

> the illusion of FREEDOM

He choose one illusion, providing food/shelter for kids and ex-wife

at the cost of 15 hr/week commute to a 50 hr/week cubicle.

I choose the other illusion, freely traveling the country in time free of obligations

at the cost of having my younger brother and sister retire long before I can.

Security or Freedom - choose either illusion you want!

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We are still great friends, but have had very different illusions and regrets.

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