First published July 25, 2018 An early reviewer pointed out that what follows depends substantially on acting from a position of privilege. Absolutely. What appear to be compliments can be assertions of power, & people with less power need to treat them differently than people with more power.
Loving all your content, but I found this to be so specific, actionable and valuable, I just had to jump in and say "I like your article" :) Seriously, along with some other geeks I know I sometimes undervalue the semantics of human connection and breaking them down in such a specific actionable way is going to make it much easier to practice connecting in a way that appears more effortless to other humans.
I can really relate to this. Sometimes when someone compliments me on my work in our company, I don't feel good about it. I used to think that maybe I was just being negative for getting agitated when someone was complimenting me. However, now I understand the reason why I feel that way. I don't believe that they should be judging my work, because I think they are only complimenting me on the surface of what I've done, and they don't really understand the true value of it. So next time i will try to build a connection.
Loving all your content, but I found this to be so specific, actionable and valuable, I just had to jump in and say "I like your article" :) Seriously, along with some other geeks I know I sometimes undervalue the semantics of human connection and breaking them down in such a specific actionable way is going to make it much easier to practice connecting in a way that appears more effortless to other humans.
I can really relate to this. Sometimes when someone compliments me on my work in our company, I don't feel good about it. I used to think that maybe I was just being negative for getting agitated when someone was complimenting me. However, now I understand the reason why I feel that way. I don't believe that they should be judging my work, because I think they are only complimenting me on the surface of what I've done, and they don't really understand the true value of it. So next time i will try to build a connection.
I liked this article, it contains actionable and useful tips for me.
"(<- determined experimentally)." really made me laugh.
Really helpful. I'm rubbish at this, and can try some of these things immediately ;)
What you describe resembles part of the practice of Nonviolent Communication.
See e.g. Chapter 14 – "Expressing Appreciation in Nonviolent Communication" of the book with the same name by Marshall Rosenberg.
As learning about Nonviolent Communication was a game changer for me, I felt like it might help others to point out the very strong similarity :)
I approve of your post. haha, totally kidding!
Yeah, definitely some good things to think about. Sometimes we don't even realize why people don't think we're being genuine, even if we are.